Man Spends Weeks Trying to Pry $10 Out of Hillary Clinton’s Hands

Nature shows have all sorts of incredible feats.

There are swimmers who survived attacks by sharks by punching them in the nose while leaving the severed stumps of their hands in their jaws.  And there are hikers who pried their feet out of the slaving jaws of bears. And there’s one Seattle man who tried to pry $10 out of the greedy paws of Hillary Rodham Clinton.

The shark and the bear are nothing compared to that feat.

A Seattle man who recently sought to end his monthly donation to a Hillary Clinton nonprofit group ran into a small roadblock: There was no way to cancel his contribution, according to a report.

You can check into Hotel Hillary, but you can’t check out.

Corey Koscielniak, 29, wanted to stop his $10.48 recurring tithe to Onward Together, the political action organization Clinton formed after her 2016 election defeat, because the group disclosed little information on how it spent the money, he told the Seattle Times.

“Onward Together (OT) accepts payment information, but provides no ability to alter or cancel donations once the initial donation is received,” Koscielniak wrote in his complaint to the Washington state Attorney General’s Office.

But it’s easy. All you have to do is fake your own death, tear up your credit cards and move to Chile. And even then, Sidney Blumenthal or David Brock will show up at your door mumbling menacingly.

“I hope you’re ready, too. Because I’d like for you to become a Founding Donor to Onward Together by starting a monthly donation of just $10.”

And your first born son.

Koscielniak, who began contributing in May 2017, has spent weeks on a mission to keep that $10 and change in his bank account, the Seattle Times reported.

Hillary Clinton founded Onward Together in 2017 to help progressive groups with fundraising, training and introductions to advisors and donors, its website said. The Seattle Times noted that the organization was what’s known as a 501(c)(4) in the federal tax code, making it a tax-exempt social-welfare group with no requirements to reveal its donors.

Or to allow them to escape from its greedy jaws.

Koscielniak, with help from state Attorney General Bob Ferguson, was able to use a newly implemented cancel button on the group’s website. But when the next month came, another $10.48 was withdrawn from his account, the Seattle Times said.

Death will not release you, even if you die. Pay your Clinton dues, pay your dues.

The good news though is that a number of historical researchers have learned that you can escape from Clintonworld by scattering salt over your shoulder, holding up a mirror or shouting, “Rumplestiskin.”