Greg Gutfeld is a Fox News host, has a nearly a million followers on Twitter and is a pretty funny guy. Patton Oswalt is a professional comedian, has 4.3 million Twitter followers and is really angry about everything President Trump does.
Ding! Round One!
Is there any going back after this #TaxBillScam? To America? Does it matter now if Trump is impeached? There’s no America now. Not the one we knew. Sorry, feeling real despair this morning
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 2, 2017
A nice jab. But Gutfeld lands an uppercut.
these parody accounts have to try harder https://t.co/zpSrKZjSl0
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) December 2, 2017
Round one to Gutfeld, 10-8.
Ding!
Oof. Comedy pointers from Greg Gutfeld. Does this mean I can give exercise and diet tips? https://t.co/ob2vHi1Z7A
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 2, 2017
Body blow. Gutfeld counters.
See what he did there? He went on wikipedia & found out I edited Men's Health 20 years ago! Comedy gold, people! (Note: I don't blame him; he's not exactly on top of things;) https://t.co/8jW26zjXtO
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) December 3, 2017
See, the joke is I'm out of shape & eat poorly, so I have no business giving out health advice. You're comparatively awful and clueless when it comes to comedy. Which you just proved by missing the joke (and being defensive about it) https://t.co/bGMd3FVT0Z
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 3, 2017
deep breathing…calm yourself. everything is going to be fine. Go outside! talk to someone! https://t.co/a8juPY8fIu
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) December 3, 2017
Good exchanges. We’ll score that a draw. Round Three!
"Calm down" from the guy with three exclamation points and and two typos in his Tweet. Sure Greg. Are you being chased? https://t.co/782IM3b7J0
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 3, 2017
A glancing shot.
just havin fun, comedy sheriff! the last bastion: typos! Patton Oswalt – not just a comedy cop, but a typo deputy! Show us your comedy badge and tell us what's right, bitter man! https://t.co/FjDdshQXvG
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) December 3, 2017
Oh! Gutfeld wobbles Oswalt! He retreats!
Greg, you have the saddest "fun" I've ever seen someone have. I'm gonna let you go, this feels cruel. https://t.co/9eyeUeq9SC
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 3, 2017
Gutfeld smells blood. Charges in!
Damn, the comedy sheriff announces he has better things to do! Okay comedy sheriff! Ride off into the sunset! (note PO: I handed your ass to you. Rather than face a logic-problem, you relied on the "I'm a comedian and this rube isn't" trope. And it failed you. Night. 😜😜 https://t.co/owLa8tsNvB
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) December 3, 2017
Oswalt goes down! But he’s back up before the 10 count and throws a wobbly roundhouse, hitting only air.
You’re not a comedian. Got it. https://t.co/d84D6GMbyi
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 3, 2017
Saved by the bell! Big win that round for Gutfeld. Oswalt’s cornerman is slathering salve over his boxer’s cut-up face. No time! Ding! Round 4!
never said i was, comedy sheriff! And that's my point. When you're exposed for your emotional, irrational outbursts untethered to fact – your reflex is to say, "you're not a comic." Fine. You're still an emotional hypocritical wreck. Deal with that. https://t.co/gjeRcC6sWN
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) December 3, 2017
Gutfeld stays on the attack, gets in the first shot. Oswalt counters.
I’ll try, Greg. I’ll t-try. Oh God I pruh-pruh-promise I’ll…(wracking sobs) https://t.co/GM7CaigM0D
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 3, 2017
Ah, Oswalt goes Rope-a-dope, and is actually sobbing in his corner!
BTW, I thought you, the comedy sheriff, had walked off into the sunset, with your joke lasso in hand, to rest another day after all this hard work on twitter. What woke you, Captain Punchline? The need to tell everyone who is funny and who isn't? https://t.co/RyjBsO4KpQ
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) December 3, 2017
Boom! Oswalt to the mat again! Back up, Oswalt says nanny nanny boo boo.
(The sure sign of handing someone their ass: having to insist you did and adding an emoji) https://t.co/d84D6GMbyi
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 3, 2017
Gutfeld swarms.
I thought you went to bed. So you want me to kick your ass some more? Okay: I'll be nice: you're living in a delusional bubble that prevents you from seeing that people who disagree with you aren't all jerks. You're not thinking clearly. https://t.co/2nza8aTBgZ
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) December 3, 2017
Punched out, Oswalt goes in for a hug.
You missed me! How sweet! https://t.co/zYqfk7rHFi
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 3, 2017
Well, the judges have an easy time with this round. Gutfeld again. Onto Round 5. Oswalt is wobbling visibly.
actually, I did! I'm enjoying this. I actually think you're a smart funny person who's like the lady in the first episode of American Horror Story. You're fucked up. Someone has to pull you out of this. I can be that person. Consider this a Twittervention. https://t.co/pulqTmzi83
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) December 3, 2017
Oswalt goes down hard! No, he’s not moving. The referee leans over him, then starts waving his arms like an ump calling a ballplayer safe at home. It’s all over! Gutfeld wins in a knockout!
Let’s hope for a rematch soon….
(First reported by the Daily Caller) http://www.dailywire.com/news/24240/greg-gutfeld-completely-annihilates-patton-oswalt-joseph-curl (December 3, 2017)
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